Thick-Thin
Squished-Plump
Cold-Warm
Wet-Dry
Round-Flat
Putrid-Stagnant
Fresh-Stale
Decayed-New
Black-White
Green-Brown (not exactly opposite, but close enough)
Dense-Scattered
Chunky-Smooth
Bugfilled-Bugless
Burried-Prominent
Can you guess what I'm describing?
If you don't want to be grossed out, stop reading now.
Here it is: Dog Poop.
How dog poop can take such extreme forms when they eat the exact same thing every day is beyond me. I guess we could blame it on the fact that some of it has been sitting in our yard for 2 weeks...
We went on vacation for a week. While we were gone, our dogs' bowels continued to function as usual. When we got back, neither of us were really excited about jumping on the pooper-scooper train, so it got pushed off for about another week.
Well, the time finally came, and I did the deed. I plugged my nose with a clip, put on some rubber gloves, armed myself with a shovel, and scooped poop like I've never scooped poop before. I filled three Meijer bags with doo-doo.
The good news: 1. I didn't throw up the whole time. 2. We now have a clean (and much more manageable) back yard. 3. Eventually, my kids will be old enough for me to pass this responsibility on to them. Muhahaha!
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