Discouraged

I've never had a really hard time making friends, but it has certainly gotten harder in the last few years. I think that I have become less outgoing than I used to be. Here's my problem: I somehow seem to be strangely attracted to the people that move away. Maybe it's my fault; I do love and encourage travel. I should stop doing that. 

2003: It all started in about 8th grade. Taylor Z joined our class and we became insta-friends. After a year of doing everything together, she moved to Florida. 

2005: I became really good friends with Kevin K when he started taking classes at our school. We would hang out at his pool, chat online all night, help eachother with homework, and hang out a lot (Ok, I might have had a crush on him). A year and a half later, he moved to Missouri. 

2007: I started college and became really great friends with Ruth B. We would sleep in eachother's dorms, go for walks, study/talk, and go for late-night food runs. She dropped out after her first semester and moved away. 

2008: The next year of college I started hanging out with Janeen G. We would work out together, have girl talk, watch movies together, and spend time together daily. She dropped out at the end of that semester.

2009: Eric and I got married and moved into the same apartment complex as Cristy and Andrew. We would have dinner together once or twice a week and go to each other's apartments almost daily for games, a tv show, or just to relax. A year later, they moved to Chicago (still manageable for monthly visits) and a year after that to Ohio (not so manageable).

2013: After finishing school, it became pretty hard to make new friends, so I just stuck with Eric. However, after staying at home with John for a few months, I realized that it is important for me to have some female friends, preferably ones that have kids. In April, I went out for drinks with a girl I met at Kuyper who has a son 6-months younger than John. It was pretty random, but good to get out. She invited me to join a mom's group that was just getting started.     

I was pretty hesitant at first a "mom's group" sounds like something for old ladies, not something for me: a young lass in my 20s who happens to also be a mom. Well it turns out, all of the other moms were in the same boat as me, and this mom's group is just about exactly what we needed. Communication happens through facebook and there are multiple "events" every week, consisting of anything from pajama playdates to family picnics. Last summer we played with other kids and moms  at parks and the beach. Last fall we played at farms and in backyards. This winter we played at the mall, museums, and in homes. We've had craft playdates, holiday playdates, exercise playdates, and more. Not only have we met friends for John, but I have made some great friends too. I went to Zumba with 5 other moms once a week last fall. We have had Mom's Nights Out at restaurants, bars, and in homes. We go to playdates for ourselves as much as for our kids. 

From August through December last year, Amanda, one of the moms, watched John three days a week while I worked. Jessie, another mom from our mom's group, is pretty close with Amanda, so I got to know them both pretty well. They're great. We spend a lot of time together. They both wear yoga pants, have messy houses, are flexible and hospitable, and eat McDonalds. 

Amanda has one son, Rogan, who is six months younger than John. Jessie has two boys: Elijah is 6 months older than John, and James is a year younger than John. So when we're all together, we have Audrey (2 months) and four boys, ages 1, 1 1/2, 2, and 2 1/2. It's great fun. 

There are about 17 moms in our mom's group, and I get along with most of them really well. However, Jessie and Amanda are both Christians and have very similar views as me, so I feel like we can talk to each other about our struggles, frustrations, and excitements and get good advice that aligns with my values and beliefs. Of all my mom friends, they live the closest as well. Jessie lives about 2 miles away and Amanda lives about 5 miles away. The other moms are all over: NE Grand Rapids, Wyoming, Caledonia, and Hudsonville. 

In January we had a "momcation" where a bunch of us went up to Sparta and stayed in a beach house for a weekend, kids free. We had tons of food, games, drinks, a dance party, and fun.

Amanda and Jessie were both carefree and relaxed, but not dumb about over-drinking or drama. I like them. 

After Audrey was born, they both brought me dinner and hung out a few times. We went on a group date with their husbands and a few other couples on Valentine's Day. Eric and I went over to play games with Jessie and her husband one night and it was lots of fun. We chilled, ate snacks, played Settlers, and watched The Office. It was really relaxed and comfortable. It felt like hanging out at one of my sisters where I can just be myself, eat doritos, and joke around without feeling judged. 

And here comes the discouraging part....

In March, Amanda and her husband announced that they were moving to Mexico to work on missions for half a year. They are going on sort-of a trial basis with the idea in mind that if it goes well, it may turn into a permanent situation. They'll head down there in April. This is fantastic; I am so excited for them! I am not so excited for myself, but at least I still have Jessie. 

Later that week, Jessie and I were over at Amanda's house for a play date with our kids talking about the upcoming move to Mexico when Jessie said something along the lines of "Well, how close will you be to California? Maybe we can visit you if we move out there." 

Aca-scuse me? Move to California? What is this crazy talk? Turns out, Jessie's husband, who is self-employed in Michigan, got a job offer from a company in California. Over the next few weeks, they decided to take that horrible, no good, very bad, far away California job. They'll move out there in April. 

Well folks, it's April now and both of my new-best friends are moving away next week. It's discouraging. 

Here's my attempted-positive spin on things: Adrianna has been a great friend for a very long time. We haven't lived near each other since high school and still manage to stay in contact with each other and hang out together when we are near each other. Eric has been my best friend for almost seven years and if he moves anywhere far away, I get to move with him. Even though my two favorite families from my lame-o mom's group are moving away, there are lots of other moms that I have gotten to know. Maybe this is God pushing me to get out of my comfort zone and be a stronger witness for him.

I'm going to do my best to focus on those positive things instead of wallowing in my depression. But for now, here are a few shots of my most recent moving-away friends:

Jessie is on the left; Amanda is second from the right. 

There's my hubby with their hubbies and an awesome photo bomber.